Mapquest driving directions from Salem, IN to Florida. These are not directions to a specific address or town in Florida, just to Florida in general. By the way, according to Mapquest, Florida is located on Sam C Road.

So, last Friday, after an intense session of D and D (Dungeons and Dragons to the uninitiated), my role-playing buddies and I head out to the Chinese buffet for a leisurely meal. They were pretty busy when we first got there, but it had started to thin out a little bit. About halfway through our meal, a group of people walked in. Here’s the rundown. There was the Gangsta/Thug Wannabe (hereinafter known as GTW). He was about 17ish,  wearing a crooked ball cap, jeans and a t-shirt.. He had that cocky, swaggering tough-guy walk and attitude. He talked in that “I’m a really white guy who’s never seen a real-live African –American but this is what I think they sound like“ kind of way. Accompanying him were his girlfriend, younger brother (I’m assuming) and mother. The girlfriend was also about 17 and kind of pretty in a mousy kind of way. The younger brother obviously looked up to his older bro. He imitated him in dress and attitude, but he talked normally and took his cap off when he ate. The mom was sort of semi-white trashy looking, if you know what I mean, but seemed nice enough. So this is how it goes.

The group enters the restaurant and approaches a table near ours.

GTW: That’s bullsh*t, man, it ain’t a concealed weapon if it’s in my pocket, man!

The girlfriend makes some comment too low for us to hear.
After they sit and make their drink orders, GTW goes to the bathroom. When he comes out, someone at our table looks at him. GTW scowls and sits down at his table.

GTW: Dat ass****’s gonna say sumthin, and Ah’m gonna bust his ass!

Mom makes some comment too low for us to hear.

They proceed to the buffet, and I also head there for my second plate.

GTW’s girlfriend: Oooh, Jeremy, there’s fruit over here!

GTW: Ah don’ need no f**kin’ bananas, man. Ah don’ need no f**kin’ bananas!

GTW’s mom: Jeremy, watch your language!

GTW’s girlfriend: Oooh, Jeremy, here’s some sweet and sour sauce!

GTW: Ah don’ need no f**kin’ sweet and sour sauce, man!

We left shortly afterwards, so I’m not sure how this delightful family dinner ended, but I’m sure it was fun. Thinking back on this later, I decided there were a few things I wanted to say to each of them, so here it goes.

To GTW:
1. It is indeed a concealed weapon if it is in your pocket.
2. You are a white boy in one of the whitest counties in Indiana. Face reality!
3. Inserting the f-word into your sentences does not make you sound tough. It just makes you sound immature.
4. Start being a better example for your brother.
5. Stop calling your girlfriend “man.”

To GTW’s girlfriend:
You seem like a nice girl. Surely you can do better than GTW. Just check out what’s out there before you commit yourself to him.

To GTW’s brother:
I’m sure you look up to your brother, but you don’t have to imitate him in everything. You showed admirable manners in removing your cap before you ate, so I think there’s hope for you yet.

To GTW’s mom:
GTW needs more discipline than an occasional “watch your language.”

I know, of course, that I have no right to say any of this to these people in reality, so that’s why I’m getting it out of my system here! I feel better now.

These are a couple of poems I have written. The first poem was my first attempt at a Shakespearean sonnet. It isn’t the greatest poem in the world, but it is the one where I tried to stick most closely to the Shakespearean sonnet format. All of the sonnets below are in iambic pentameter and follow the correct rhyme scheme. In the first sonnet, however, I tried to follow the idea of setting up a problem in the first 8 lines, followed by a turn and a solution.

The second sonnet follows up on the ideas and feelings I expressed in an earlier post about feeling alone and isolated.

The third sonnet is about my one true love. When I was younger, I created my image of the ideal lover. Much to my surprise, I actually met my fantasy lover in the flesh my first year at I.U. The sonnet explains how things turned out.

Without further ado, here they are.

 SONNET 1

When oft my heart with sorrow fills, and pain
Conjoins with anger fell and grim despair,
In this dire world not wishing to remain,
I think my fate the worst beyond compare.
My faults all make me rue that I was born.
My ill-favored features, the skills I lack,
All seem to earn me derision and scorn,
Making my temperament somber and black.
When life seems darkest, all hope gone astray,
A host without number rides to my aid.
The succor they give helps the pain allay,
The dejection will vanish, the gloom fade.
            Ah, Books, my savior, my comfort, my friend,
            May your power to save me never end!

SONNET 2

There’s someone for everyone I’ve been told.
For most in this world that seems to be true.
I once thought that ere I grew worn and old,
I’d be able to find my someone too.
But as years passed on, I remained alone.
Though I tried at first, my love ne’er appeared.
I did not fret, but would have if I’d known
That the fate that waited was what I most feared.
I should have tried harder, been more daring.
I’ve watched as my friends have each found a mate,
But I found none. Though ugly, I’m caring
With much to give, but solitude’s my fate.
            The answer? I have none, no hope to give.
            If I can’t love, am I able to live?

SONNET 3

When young, I knew what you, my love, would be:
Attractive and witty, loving and smart.
I thought that you could love someone like me.
The truth, unacknowledged, lived in my heart.
But such perfection could not be, I thought,
Until, my love, I saw you on that day.
One simple smile and my poor heart was caught.
Your charm and wit helped all my pain allay.
My time of joy, alas, was to be brief,
I yearned for more than you wanted to give.
I treasured your friendship beyond belief,
But your love would have let me truly live.
            Twenty years passed, and I never forget.
            Your memory brings joy and sour regret.

Found in the boys’ bathroom across from my room: a banana peel under a piece of paper which read: Watch your step. Do not slip.  The note was a nice touch, but wouldn’t have been just as easy to throw away the banana peel?

When John Donne wrote “No man is an island,” I’m sure he sincerely believed it. Since Donne’s time, there have been literally dozens of novels, short stories, movies and t.v. shows that emphasize the fact that no one is truly alone and that each person touches a lot of other lives. Works as diverse as Horton Hears a Who and It’s a Wonderful Life stress this theme over and over. I, however, am not buying it.

Ever since I was young, I have felt isolated, alone, different somehow from everyone else. It is hard to describe how I feel. I have never been able to find a place where I fit in. Other kids seemed to make friends and share interests so easily. I, on the other hand, was terribly shy. I lisped when I was younger (until the second grade, in fact), so I was very self-conscious. It only took a few times of being mocked before I realized it was safer to be quiet. Because I was so quiet, I was easy to overlook, so I spent a lot of time alone. I read to fill up the time as much as for enjoyment.

I would read anything I could get my hands on, including the encyclopedia. Because of the diversity of my writing, I picked up some strange interests. I felt like I had a lot of interesting things to talk about, but I could never seem to find anyone who shared my interests or who wanted to learn about them.

Being alone and trying to be unnoticed came to be a habit throughout my school years. I was the quiet guy who sat in the back, did his work and didn’t talk to anyone. I vowed that when I went to college that I would try to break out of my shell and meet people. Surely the diversity of a college campus would provide someone who shared my interests. Unfortunately, when I got to college, I discovered that I didn’t know how to meet people. I tried to talk to people, went to parties, etc., but nothing ever seemed to work. I just ended up feeling even more isolated.

I did manage to make a few friends over the years, but the same thing always happened. Their lives seemed to progress while mine stayed the same. Like an island, I stayed stagnant while they moved on, formed relationships, got married and moved out into the sea of the “real world.” It hurt each time it happened, but I realized that it was the natural order of things. They weren’t to blame. I was the unnatural one. Unlike Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life, I’m not sure the world would be any different if I’d never been born.